I Can Never Look at Them the Same Way: After how they tried to exploit and undermine me

Sanctimonious manipulators shouldn't represent any faith; they would only make things worse for others with their exploits

Autonomy in spiritual practice can be a good thing.

Too many times, religion was wielded as a tool for power and control over me, used by people in my circumstantial connections to dictate beliefs and enforce obedience through fear and deception.

This led to a lot of inconsistencies, yet I wasn't allowed to express any doubt.

I strongly suspect personal details were being pried from us and passed to charlatans as part of their scheme, because certain demands, veiled as messages or revelations, are more effective when they appear to come from a divine source.

For these people, religion is just a tool to control others, and it's individuals like this who give a bad name to religion.

Sometimes, when I have to relate this story, I try not to mention the specific religion, because these sanctimonious manipulators don't represent the faith; they would only make things worse for others with their exploits.

Photo by Someus Christopher on Unsplash

I even got rid of all the religious artifacts from the house (most of which I hadn't consented to), and my own collection of metaphysical decorative items.

It's not because they would open a portal to anything supernatural – for most of the time, wicked humans are far more dangerous than any malevolent supernatural entity – but because these items became another tool for them.

It was almost like not locking up sharp, dangerous things like knives in the house and inadvertently allowing robbers or thieves to use them against us.

Numerous demands were made under the pretense of good Feng Shui, yet at times they blatantly contradicted themselves by attempting to plant a pernicious object in our house – one that was supposed to ruin a couple's relationship.

This left me wondering if it was genuine ignorance, or if such a specific, harmful suggestion could only be explained by malice.

The claim of ignorance would expose all the previous deceptions, feigning Feng Shui knowledge to make demands. Yet, denying that pretense would leave only malice to explain that pernicious act.

Those experiences with what felt like manipulative or hypocritical individuals were far from pleasant.

I was disheartened, causing me to shun religions for years, as I found it sickening how everything said and done by those people seemed to come with an ulterior motive, words of God twisted to their own agenda.

Yet, after some time, I yearned for spiritual guidance, but I want to do it on my own terms. My conversion was a deeply personal choice, made after extensive reading and without external influence, precisely because I felt I could always verify what was being taught and what was expected of me.

Indeed, things are much better with self-directed spiritual exploration, free from external pressures and fear-based doctrines.

I’m not saying that this is what others in the church is doing. This is my personal approach to religion: staying connected spiritually on my own terms.

I find this method particularly beneficial for my anxiety, as being forced into rigid practices would do more harm than good.

Reposting my comment from my recent read, because some thoughts just deserve a post of their own.

Notes: I've been spending more time lately on single stories, allowing me to go into lengthy detail with my comments.

These often turn into standalone posts, much like the multi-paragraph response I wrote after reading

Barry Chaffee

’s post about autonomy in spiritual practice.

Revisiting it today, I realize there's still so much more I want to say on the matter now that it has become an essay.

From Pews to Peace

©Emika Oka

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